Dave Barry Forum Smack-Down



OMG! I feel faint! As many (both) of you readers may be aware, I, Doc Gurley, have stalked written into the on-line Davedavebarry.jpg Barry for President Forum to ask a question or two, and His Barryness has, on occasion, gotten a restraining order replied. The situation has escalated into a Red Alert Crisis, due to a “spat” over public health ketchup issues of widespread national concern. If you don’t believe me, read the latest–

Q. Dear Esteemed Candidate, While Room Temperature Ketchup may be a good name for a rock band, it is actually, in fact, a Festering Stewpot of Superbugs (another good name for a rock band). Won’t the CDC object to your ketchup policy platform?
Public (rarely pubic) health nerd
, (this is a Doc Gurley alias) 2/08/08

Brace yourself for Dave Barry’s blistering, scientific, data-driven, battle-of-the-titans response–

A. If that is true, why have restaurants, with no apparent ill effects, been leaving unrefrigerated ketchup bottles on the tables for, like, 17,000 years? HUH? Dave Barry, 2/19/08

We here at Doc Gurley are dashing around in circles, waving fax transmissions, hair flying, staring wild-eyed as the whirling Red Alert lights flash and sirens scream ah-ooga, ah-ooga! After all, what good can a pathetic medical school degree be, even when bolstered by years of lab work and patient care, when pitted against a Celebrity of Immense Comedic Genius. We’re doomed

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