For those who started the (pre-dawn) day with a list of stores to hit, all I can say is…wow. A Walmart on Black Fri
day is the purest example of survival of the fittest ever devised. I’ll admit it up front, I’m not woman enough to Black Friday. I don’t believe the obviously false propaganda that men in the stone age were the hunter-gatherers. If someone had to hunt down the last berry bush for the kids to survive the winter–my money’s on the women. They’d find it under a pile of bras in the re-stock section. Same goes with bringing down a huge mastodon. If a coordinated crowd has to tackle that sucker to own it, forget it guys. Let’s put it this way–how fast would you get out of the way if a woman shouted out to a crowd of strangers in the last ten minutes of the sale that her sick granddaughter needed a purple size six…and you realized you were standing in front of the elephant-sized pile of clothes on the kids’ clearance table? My theory is that men were more like lone assassins, heading out for the day whistling a tune, with a pouch of fermented brew and a wad of jerky. At dusk, he’d drag home a deer, and try not to roll his eyes while listening to the blow-by-blow account of the women’s day, all the while wondering why anyone would go through all that misery for one reduced-price, slightly defective mastodon. Here for the virtuoso shoppers (and sideline cheerleaders) are some practical health tips in honor of Black Friday, and beyond.
1) Go here for some tips on safe toy buying and a list of 250 Made in America toys.
2) Go here for tips on how to fit exercise in, even on crazy days.
3) Good news! Here‘s a study I really liked, where putting up signs increased the number of shoppers taking the stairs. The researchers point out that “climbing stairs for seven minutes every day could reduce your risk of developing heart disease by about 60 percent.” Make your own little virtual sign for the day (bracelet? promise to your co-shoppers? ask your kids to nag?), and see if taking the stairs works for you.
Happy Shopping! Now where did I put my novel and cup of tea…
Thanks to public domain clipart for the painting of Doc Gurley on Black Friday Edvard Munch’s The Scream.